when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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