SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize