I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
