i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
