brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
