i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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