yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
