I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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