Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
