I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
