I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
