You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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