Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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