I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
