Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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