I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
