she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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