do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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