Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
