did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
