I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My apartment stinks of burning failure
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
