I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
please don't ironically join a cult
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