Me too!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
