Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
