i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
