So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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