it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
