Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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