thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
