i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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