i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
