I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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