was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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