I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
