the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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