Screwed.edu
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize