Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
