Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
