Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
