dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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