i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
