Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles

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(+45): View more from Denmark

You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?

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(518): View more from New York

You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them

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(703): View more from Virginia

Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.

(571): View more from Virginia

I'd say they're off to a great start!

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

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(970): View more from Colorado

Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM

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(406): View more from Montana

The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"

(662): View more from Mississippi

If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.

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