what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
