My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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