He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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