We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize