Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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