I got chris browned last night
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
