her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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