Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
