pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
