Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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