so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize