That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
