an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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