first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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