people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
