I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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