We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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