Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
